The guy was efficient, had all the paperwork ready to go. We stood in the garage and I signed all the places he had highlighted, leaning on the trunk of my car, the medium old, white VW with an assortment of scratches, but overall in good shape. The check he handed me was a nice number. Probably should have been some rite of passage to mark the event.
My daughter had her hand on my shoulder, probably expecting me to cry. She was gaining a parking space and the dubious chore of driving me around when needed though I had signed up for Get Around, the local senior ride service that provides low priced but limited rides – eight five dollar Yellow cab rides a month only in the local county area. That is four round trips so you need to plan carefully.
I failed my first driving test. I was 21. I didn’t have a car but I was working and I’d saved up enough to buy one. Very embarrassed I blamed my boyfriend’s poor teaching and the hassle of a stick shift. After some professional training, I passed the test and bought a Dodge Dart. Having a car in New York was not an intelligent choice and I spent most of my driving time looking for parking.
Moving to Southern California made driving essential. Northern California is better equipped in public transportation but still limited. When I decided to stop driving I figured out I had been doing it for 65 years. You would think I’d get better at it, not worse. But worsening eyesight, night vision, reaction time and hearing loss gradually took their toll until one night on the freeway I realized if I didn’t stop, I’d fail that test again and maybe worse.
You think you know what it will be like not to drive. Your daughter will be there. Friends will give you rides. This Get Around service will work, you don’t get out much since you retired. Like all the other challenges of getting older, not driving takes practice. It is not bad getting in the vehicle but often awkward getting out, particularly with the cane or the walker. They need to go in the back seat or trunk and space available determined coming and going.
You wait where it is not convenient or out of the rain. You accommodate your schedule to someone else’s and learn they don’t drive too well either. You juggle grocery bags, house keys, a cane and your sweater as you get both feet on the ground and figure out you need more practice being graceful. Ask for help if you need it. Politely but firmly. We tend to apologize for being old. Remind them it is a terminal disease and none of us get out alive.
Giving up driving is a sacrifice, our choice or society’s to protect others. But it will further isolate us from our community if we let it. There has been, according to the health gurus, an increasing epidemic of loneliness, and giving up driving a major step in that process. I don’t have a cure at the ready but I think it is worth some effort to stay connected. Get a reputation as the lady who is fun to take for a drive. The Cookie lady might work too.
Right on ytack